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Poems by Ruth Fazal
BEAUTIFUL WOUNDS
Beautiful wounds!
Born
of love complete
And felt with depth unknown.
Beloved scars!
Reminders of the finished work
Of One who walked alone.
Hear the
cry!
The anguish of a heart in love.
“Will you embrace My Bride
with Me
And love Her as your own?”
The Sword of God has pierced me
through
With trembling expectation I accept the call.
No longer is
my life my own,
So who’s am I, but Yours?
My heart, Your heart.
Your cry becoming mine.
Agreeing to the wounding of Your love
Has
been both my undoing and my becoming.
Beautiful wounds!
Beautiful
One!
Beautiful tears!
I weep with Your compassion.
ALL I ASK
O Love of my heart,
The best of
all that I can feel
abides within Your presence here.
To contain
that which is so vast
becomes a sweet difficulty.
Unable to reach
into the depths of your love,
Yet longing to know and be known.
Still hidden, waiting to be uncovered
is the richness yet to be
found.
It is something about suffering, I fear.
And so I will with
trembling hands
reach out to embrace what you embraced for me.
“Grace and Mercy” I cry
This is all I ask.
REST
A place of quiet rest
Is where You
speak
My stilled heart,
Ready to receive Yours.
Enter in!
Why hold on to fast moving thoughts
And fading promises
That never
held any truth?
Who will speak to me of love
But Love Himself?
Who will build the confidence within
But Truth,
speaking what Truth knows best?
I stand on shaky ground,
Until I
settle on the Rock.
All things are shifting
‘Til rooted firmly in
this solid place.
It is so hard when I am running with myself
To
choose to come
and enter into Your dance.
I stand here, vaguely waiting for
something to happen
But, in truth I know where I belong.
And now I
find myself here
stilled and quiet before You.
How did I arrive?
What did I do right,
to be once again in this place of rest?
Not
my doing, to be sure!
I have struggled
Even felt tormented by the
pace at which my mind was racing.
No, I am here by Your tender
invitation.
It is Your gift to me
Such a gracious gift;
Peace,
Peace, Peace.
I am here
I am still
It is you
My love
My
all.
FROM DEEP WITHIN
I want to sing a song
so full of love
I long to lift my heart
and fill
Your heart with joy
There's nothing more that I can
bring
than all
the songs that lie within
I don't
know how to tell You
in the way I really want to
O God
"You are worthy,
You are
mighty
But is
this enough to say?
Can this express the worthiness
and strength
that
make You who You are?
Is there
a word in all the earth to really give you praise?
I think
not.
How could such beauty be expressed
as I
have seen and felt
inside Your heart?
And so I stand here speechless
and from
deep within I cry
“I love You!”
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HERE AGAIN
Here in awe I stand
Before Your Throne of grace and
brilliance.
Opening my heart to the beauty of
Your love.
All around me Light streams forth,
Giving warmth
Inviting me to stay for ever!
How could I ever leave this place?
You have invited me to live here all
my days,
Beside the sea of glass that
surrounds You.
To carry deep within my heart
The eternal presence of heaven.
No longer do I need to come again
I choose never to depart!
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FULLY SATISFIED
This is beauty
far beyond knowledge
And yet within me is the deepest knowing
You are here!
Complete in Your Oneness
You long to be one with me.
Full of radiant light
So dazzling that even though I may
not see You now
Or ever in this life
The presence of Your burning heart is
here
So near, that without sight
I am fully satisfied.
Passion now so deeply felt,
A yearning never known before.
No word sufficient to describe the
stirrings in my heart
Toward You, my God.
My whole being
aches,
My trembling heart longs for You,
and yet is deeply satisfied to find
it’s home within Your own.
Simply being here with You
is all I ask.
I cannot see,
Perhaps I never will
But You are here in me
And I am fully satisfied in You.
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It is in You I find my name.
Once spoken will suffice to give me hope
That I can live my life unbound by other’s definitions.
It is in You I find my life.
Not in pursuit of affirmation given to make me feel of worth
Depending on the source from which it came.
It is in You I know my call.
And that not based on my achievements.
For I will surly fall someday
And then, outside of Your embrace
My vision would be shattered.
My place is here, my eyes are fixed on Yours.
Seeing in your gaze a Father’s perfect love,
Expressed in perfect sacrifice of Son.
My arms reach up to take You to myself
Secure that You have placed me here in your embrace.
I need no other name than that you quietly speak.
To know My Father’s love- it is enough for me!
GENTLE LOVER
You are the Gentle Lover
Ever
strong, yet tender beyond my understanding.
What kind of heart
contains such tenderness?
What expanse of mercy floods this chamber
of intimacy?
I listen…
Even for just a moment, the rhythm of Your
heartbeat brings such life to me
Enveloping me within the security of
perfect love.
Coming closer, my head now resting on Your breast
I
feel the warmth of this tender Flame of love
Whose ever present light
gives life to my flickering ember.
I will remain here
Still
Quiet
Trusting in the flow of life that comes from You alone.
Understanding will come
But for now, ‘not knowing’ seems to be my
resting place.
If I can learn love here
Then I can live it
anywhere.
GETHSEMANE #1
Black
Darkness
The ground
is cold on which I lie
My friends are gone
There is no one to
help me through this night.
What is this weight that I am
feeling?
It is a stranger to me
Crushing pain, confusion never
felt before.
How can this be the way?
How can a cup be so
bitter to drink?
Where are you Father?
Are you listening ?
Are you sure that this is the only way?
I feel the twisting and
turning of accusation in my whole being,
Will I be the Son of
Man?
Will the Stream flow freely from my side?
I know that You
have said that it will be
But now, in this darkness, I do not see
so clearly
And this pain!
This pain!….What is it Father?
You love me still!
I am Your Son!
But a weakness so severe
seems to be taking hold of me.
O, Where are my friends?
Are
they sleeping, through such agony and confusion?
How can they
ignore my pain?
How can they sleep while the sweat pours from me,
so heavy now
O my Father, they cannot even watch with me for an
hour!
I fall once more to the ground,
This time, a rock
becomes my resting place
My heart beats faster now,
Anticipating what You are about to do.
You would never leave me
would you Father?
You and I are one
How can we be separated?
No! I cannot bear such a thought
I did not know that it would
feel like this.
Alone
No one to be here with me.
All asleep
again
They care
Yes, in their hearts they do
But they
cannot drink this Cup.
But Father,
Will I drink it?
The
weakness in my body
How is this strength enough to win the day?
The pounding of my heart is beyond what I can take
I think my
whole being will explode
O my Father,
I do not want to do
this.
Let’s just go back to the upper room,
And talk about
this together.
Maybe my friends and I could go away together for
a while
Where no one can find us…..
GETHSEMANE #2
The weight is unbearable
The
tears streaming from the deepest part of me
What is this place of
pain so deep
That it seems to embody the suffering of all that I
have created?
I have walked among My people,
I know the
longing heart
And now I am here
In the dark
In the night
Ready to drink the Cup
And to be poured out.
This love is
breaking my own heart
The love I feel
Father, the love that
has been between Us from the beginning
That is what I want them
to know.
To know that You are true
And that You will never
leave them.
But will you leave me?
Are they going to see me
forsaken?
What will they think?
How can this be right?
O
Father, protect them in my agony.
I do not want them to see me in
this place of pain
How could they still love me in such a place
of weakness?
What use will I be to them
As I am lifted up?
As you crush this Rock,
And cause the living waters,
Created
from the beginning
To flow freely
That which has until now
been a reflection
Will become reality.
But Father, will you
leave me too?
Will they see You as unfaithful?
You, whom I
have spoken of with such trust
O my Father, the weight upon my
body is more than I can bear
What is this now that drips from my
brow?
Blood?
Poured out
O My God, it is very dark.
GETHSEMANE #3
It is so deep inside
I cannot
reach it
What am I feeling?
What is the aching?
Sprawled
upon the ground now
It is beginning to feel cold
But I cannot
get up
My mind is confused
I cannot feel the love that we have
You are here
Of course you are here!
But I’m fighting the
confusion
Where are you?
Are you here in this garden
Or are
you in heaven?
Do you know what I’m feeling?
O, what it is to
have become one with my people
Such agony is the weight of
suffering
Of lives lived outside of Your love
So much to put
right
So much…
GETHSEMANE #4
Sighs too deep
No words
Just sweat
And this cold pain which
I have never touched before.
How much can I take?
This
heaviness I feel…where is it coming from?
It seeks to destroy me
No Jesus! No!
Do not weep so!
How can you be in such anguish?
It is my pain you are feeling.
How can I bring You some relief?
This grief should not be yours;
It is my foolishness that brings
you to this place
Why should you have to carry it?
Jesus!…
Stop!
No! …No!
What is that cup that you are holding?
It
seems as though you struggle to maintain a grasp of it
O my God!
What are you about to drink?
It is surely a poison.
No, do not
drink from that cup-
It will kill you,
O my precious friend
This is all because of me!
No!
There must be another way-
Surely you do not have to carry this?
I see the sweat that pours
profusely from You.
It is dripping…….dripping
O my God!…….it
is …..blood!
How can a man sweat blood?
What is happening to
You dearest friend?
EASTER RISING
Easter Rising
O bright and early
rising Sun meet me here!
In the darkness of my longing shine Your
light.
Breaking now upon the horizon
always You come
Though
sometimes hidden by clouds
still You are there
Coming up
Rising
As a Bridegroom coming forth from Your chamber.
It is a new
day
Yet forever ancient;
Seen from before all things began.
What triumph!
Never to be defeated
Here is Your joy
O beautiful
Risen One!
LET YOUR MUSIC COME FORTH
O Breath of Heaven
Breathe Your
life and music into me.
Let my heart receive
life-giving wind of
Spirit
Blowing freely where You will
and, in turn
Bringing life
to all who will inhale
and feel Your energy and power
As freshest
air gives birth to life.
Within this heart of mine
is deepest
longing to breathe only that which You supply
and put forth nothing
more or less.
Let harmony and discord live in tension one with
another,
being resolved only in the aching beauty of Your love and
suffering.
Existing side by side, yet one within each other.
Breathe on me now,
Let Your music come forth!
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